by Tammy Devine

My first response when I was asked to write on the topic of worry was laughter. I come from a family of wonderful, loving worrywarts. This, and the early death of my parents, has led me to work on letting go and decreasing the time I spend worrying. My journey has been about living with more focus, balance, and presence in the here and now. My growth continues as I become more aware of how little good it does to spend precious time and energy worrying about situations that may never happen.

Worry is no stranger to any of us. At times, in fact, some worry is natural and good. It is the combination of fear and imagination ("What if ...?") that can keep us alert and out of danger. But when our worries begin to consume our lives, the result can be detrimental to our health. Every system of our body is affected by worry. We respond to worry, stress, tension, and anxiety in unhealthy physical ways.

Consider this: Worry raises our blood pressure and increases the likelihood that our blood will form clots. It can prompt our liver to produce more cholesterol, which can raise our risk of heart attacks and strokes. Muscle tension brought on by worry may cause headaches, back pain, and other body aches. When worry triggers an increase in stomach acid, our digestive system may be affected. Anxiety can slow down or speed up muscle contractions in our intestines, leading to stomach aches, constipation, diarrhea, gas, or heartburn. Thanks to worry, we can get skin rashes, and our immune system may be compromised, leading to risks of chronic diseases.

I was raised by wonderful — yet perfectionist — parents, and my family tended to take life very seriously. Work came first, and the chores on the farm were rarely finished. As a consequence, we children did not learn to play very well.

When worry consumes us, it robs us of time, energy, and health. Within the past year, my dad died of a heart attack, and my mom died after a stroke. I will never completely know, but maybe the way they worked hard, lived seriously, and strove for perfection contributed to their premature deaths. Too often we sweat the small stuff. We are often consumed by thoughts and fears of things that are not likely to come about. Worry alters the way we live and potentially shortens life.

When our bodies try to get our attention, we should listen. Yawning, feeling tired, having difficulty concentrating — these mean we should evaluate our sleep habits. Tense shoulders, headaches, and unusual pains are not symptoms we should ignore.

Lighten up
Women today tend to wear a lot of hats. I know I do. I nurture my two teenage children, support extended family members, overindulge in work, maintain a home, am active in my church, and make time for friends. We all handle many roles and responsibilities, striving to find balance and inner peace. In the midst of our very busy lives, we can find ourselves out of breath. We seldom take time for ourselves. Our pace, with the increasing demands that we place upon ourselves, may put us at risk to be emotionally unbalanced.

In the midst of our dis–ease, we begin to doubt our capabilities. We can begin to pay attention to our negative self talk. The more we focus on these unhelpful thoughts, the more time and energy we spend worrying about them. I decided to stop my negative self-speak and instead rewrite the messages I send myself. Slowly I began to believe in myself, and my self-esteem grew as I continued to nurture myself with positive messages. If we all do that, in time, we find that we can let go of our mistakes — wrong notes on the piano, denting the car, sticking our foot in our mouth.

Record and play a message that lifts, respects, and honors you for who you have been created to be with all your God–given gifts. Slowly, you will trust and believe in yourself. We can focus on doing the best we can. And we can learn to lighten up.

Some of us take ourselves very seriously. On average, children laugh far more frequently than adults. What happens over time to our happy hearts? Learning to laugh at ourselves can open a new world for us to enjoy. It can help us let go of stuff that would otherwise bog us down with worry. I laugh when I realize I have not quite measured up. If I’ve given it my best shot, what more can anyone, including me, expect? Celebrating whose we are can help us grow and discover who we are created to be and what we are expected to share with the world. This growth can help us stay on the path of loving ourselves.

Finding the balance
Discovering that we don’t need to be in control (not that we could) is liberating. We spend needless energy trying to control everyone and everything around us. When things aren’t going quite right, we try to fix them. We must recognize that we cannot fix anyone but ourselves and our responses to any given situation. A "fix it" mentality feeds into our desire to control our corner of the world. When life isn’t going the way we think it should, we fret and stew and worry. Recognizing that God is in control helps us let go. It allows us to turn our worry over to God who listens and knows our longings and our needs before we do.

Finding balance in our lives and focusing on Christ at the center will help guide and direct us. We are broken people, so we fall short. We all worry. We all overindulge. We all find ourselves out of balance and out of breath. As we grow to depend on God, we deepen our relationship with God. Leaning on God to be there, to answer our prayers (with God’s answer, not our own), we learn to trust.

When you find yourself worrying, stop to ponder whether your thoughts and anxieties give you life or drain you of it. Do they allow you to share your God-given purpose in the world? Think about the way you talk to yourself. Is it positive or negative? Our world sends plenty of messages that put us down, cause a sense of guilt and shame, and say that we don’t measure up. Christ died so we might have life — life abundant in the here and now.

As long as we are on earth, we can’t be totally anxiety free. But we are on a journey toward wholeness — toward eternal life where there will be no more suffering, pain, or worry. Christ is our ultimate healer. Until then, we are called through our baptism to live as a new creation in Christ, to live life to the fullest now. Take your worries to Jesus. Learn to laugh at yourself, to see the blessing in life’s struggles, and turn your sadness into joy as you live well in Christ.

FIVE WAYS TO WORRY LESS
—Laugh instead of taking life too seriously

—Turn to God in prayer — relinquish control and fear

—Focus on the present moment — live today

—Live in hope

—Capture your energy, spin it positively, and share it with the greater community